Best Way To Build A Relationship With Your Client

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Scott Benton: Hey, everyone. It’s Scott Benton. I’m your host for the Classroom 2 Courtroom podcast. How are you? We are a podcast dedicated towards showing law school students essentially how to transition from law school after they’ve graduated and passed the bar into their first job as an attorney at a firm and learning how to practice law which is something that isn’t really taught in law school and definitely not taught at the bar practice exams. So, sit back and enjoy today’s episode.

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Scott Benton: Today we’re going to talk about what is the best way to build a strong relationship with your client? What is the best way to build a strong relationship with your client? This is once you have a client list and you are a ticketed attorney and you are the person that they have hired in order to help them solve their legal problems.

Now I’m going to preface this by saying that there are a lot of ways [00:01:00] for you to build relationships with your clients. You may already be really good at this. Maybe it’s something you’ve already mastered. Maybe it’s something you’re still trying to work on. But do understand that it’s critical, that building relationships with people, whether it’s clients or even friends, family, anybody is a critical skill that you must develop.

And it’s something that is going to make a tremendous amount of difference, not only in your business, but in your life as well. And you want to get to the point where you are developing instant rapport with people. I mean, right the minute you meet them, you want to be able to connect with them and build a relationship with them from that first words, the first conversations that you have with somebody.That relationship building piece should already be in place and operating with that person.

Now there’s one idea that I want to talk about even though there are many ways to build relationships with people. In fact, this podcast is going to talk frequently about this [00:02:00] Particular subject because it is our opinion that in today’s day and age that people largely believe that they don’t need to pay for legal services anymore.

You have sort of online platforms where they can sort of log in to them and kind of do it yourself legal process if they want to like there’s legal Zoom. There are other legal platforms that you can go and utilize also with the advent of AI, artificial intelligence. Now, there’s this idea that AI either can or eventually will be able to help you with all of your legal issues that you need to take care of that normally you would hire an actual person, an attorney to help you with and help take care of.

So, we know that people really aren’t feeling like, even though that’s not true, that they need to pay for legal services, but at the same time, we also know that they will pay for a relationship with their attorney all day long.

And [00:03:00] if they have a strong and bonded relationship with their attorney, then they will definitely pay for that. So, the idea that I want to talk to you today comes from a book that is almost 90 years old, and it’s by somebody named Dale Carnegie. It was written in 1936. There have been, since that time, over 30 million copies of this book sold worldwide.

So this is not an unknown book. And chances are you’ve probably already read this book or at least heard about it. If you haven’t read it or haven’t heard about it, you really should look it up and do yourself a favor as soon as possible and read the Dale Carnegie book called How to Win Friends and Influence People.

It’s even though a lot of the references, cause they come from the 1930s or sort of lost to the collective memory of today’s world. There’s lots of sort of old tiny speaking in it. The ideas that it talks about cover to cover are really timeless and there are concepts and ideas that you should know in spite of it being [00:04:00] almost 90 years old, it’s a book that is just as relevant today as it was in 1936 when it was first released.

So there’s one idea. There’s one sort of chapter that is in the book. That I refer to over and over and over again because it’s such a powerful way to build instant rapport with a client, to build instant rapport with just about anybody. And the nice thing about it is that it works immediately. In fact, after this podcast is over, after you’ve turned it off, You literally can go to the next person that you cross paths with and try out this idea and you’re going to see that it works.

I mean, it’s, fail safe. It’s going to work 100 percent of the time. By the way, this is also going to work with friends of yours, whether you’ve been friends for a short period of time with them, or maybe even decades, this one idea is going to add a whole new layer of interaction with friends and family and anybody that you meet, even if it’s someone that you’ve just met [00:05:00] two seconds ago.

This is a very powerful tool. I use it all the time myself and it frankly has never failed. Sometimes there is a little bit of struggle with it, but usually this is my go to and of all of the ideas in the Dale Carnegie book, personally, I think this is the strongest idea in that book.

Although that’s not to say that the other ideas are not Strong or don’t have any merit. They certainly do. And you really should read the Dale Carnegie book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. You should in fact drop what you’re doing and read that book. That’s how good it is. So I’m going to read, I actually have the paragraph here.

I’m going to just I’m going to read it. Essentially straight out of the book. It’s a little bit of a passage. It’ll take me a minute to get through this, but I think it expresses the idea so perfectly and it’s gonna help you really instantly developed a strong bond with your clients, even because a lot of times clients come into an attorney’s office and they’re in a state of distress.

Something has [00:06:00] happened to them and they’re distracted and they’re preoccupied. A lot of times they’re upset and this is just a really nice tool that kind of helps break through all of that. And it’ll connect you in a way that will surprise you if you don’t already know this. It’s, I want to say trick, but it’s not a trick. It’s just basic human interaction.

So let me read the paragraph from the Dale Carnegie book. And it’s the William Lyon Phelps story. If you do know the book, that William Lyon Phelps recounts. And this is really going to unlock a key component to your relationship building skill set. So here we go, this is from How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

The genial William Lyon Phelps, essayist and professor of literature at Yale, learned this lesson early in life. And this is him speaking. When I was eight years old and was spending a weekend visiting my aunt Libby Lindsay at her home in Stratford on the Housatonic, he wrote in an essay on human nature, a middle aged man called one evening, meaning stopped by.

And after a polite [00:07:00] skirmish with my aunt, he devoted his attention to me. At that time, I happened to be excited about boats. And the visitor discussed the subject in a way that seemed particularly interesting. After he left, I spoke of him with enthusiasm. What an incredible human being! What a great conversation I had!

He said to his aunt. And his aunt informed me that he was a New York lawyer, that he cared nothing whatever about boats, and that he took not the slightest interest in the subject. So I asked her, but then why did he talk about boats the entire time? And she said, because he is a gentleman. He saw that you were interested in boats, and he talked about the things he knew would interest and please you.

He made himself agreeable. And William Lyon Phelps added, I never forgot my aunt’s remark. So that’s a very powerful story from the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Please, Please, I’m begging you, please read [00:08:00] that book. It will change your life. and if you do use this particular tool, this idea with your clients, with really just about anybody, you’re gonna see an instant sort of transformation in the relationship.

Essentially, what you want to do is, when you meet people for the first time, there is, and everybody has this, there’s this thing I call, this is my word, I call it the spark. Everybody has a spark. It’s the thing that they’re interested in most. And whether they know it or not, they’re going to tell you about their spark probably in the first five seconds that you are talking to them.

You just need to know to listen for that spark. Listen for that thing or look for that thing. Sometimes they’re carrying something or wearing something that shows that they are interested in a particular area, particular item or thing. And when you have discovered their spark and you’ll get better at this, the more you do it, when you’ve discovered that spark, what you want to do is zero in [00:09:00] on that particular subject and just talk about that subject.

Okay, so essentially that person that you’re interacting with becomes a star celebrity guest on your own private talk show. And you are the talk show host. They are your guest on your talk show. And so you are going to essentially Interview them about that spark. Sometimes people have more than one spark.

Generally it’s one. But a lot of times people have multiple sparks. And if you can figure out what their multiple sparks are, then you’re going to be even better off. But for the most part, people have at least one spark. And they are telling you every minute of the conversation what that spark is. You just need to know to listen to it.

And the minute that you’ve Picked up on what their spark is you want to stop you want to put them on your talk show and you want them to be interviewed by you.

Now, sometimes you’re gonna know the [00:10:00] subject Sometimes you’re going to know the subject as well as they know the subject and that’s going to be one of the best conversations you’ve ever had.

Sometimes you know a little bit about the subject, so if it’s an area that you have maybe studied or read a book or magazine stories about or just know a little something, then you want to go to that file in your brain and pull out all the information you know about that subject and start asking them questions that you’re able to ask.

Now, if you know absolutely nothing about the subject that they’re just so passionate about and they’re willing to speak to you about it with interest. I mean, you genuinely will be interested in the subject by the way that they’re expressing their interest in it.

This is a subject that they will talk about forever. I mean, forever, given the space, they will talk about it for hours and hours again with interest. So you want to be able to tap into that spark of theirs that they have and begin to listen to what they’re [00:11:00] saying, ask follow up questions, even if you don’t know anything about it, you want to start asking them about that subject.

And a lot of times it’s really easy if you don’t know a particular subject to just start to ask really basic questions because you are an advantage. You don’t know anything about this subject. So begin to ask them, then what about this? And what about that? And why are you so interested in this?

And how come you became interested in this and what’s next? And then what? That’s a great one. You can always use, and then what? And it’s a great second or because people will just continue their story. You’ve given them permission to continue to talk about the subject that is nearest and dearest to them in their heart.

And that’s really what you’re trying to get to. Now, when you’re able to create that kind of bond with your client, then you have set the foundation for a very strong relationship and you can build upon that. Remember that there are two people generally [00:12:00] in this conversation and you have your list of sparks or your list of interests, your list of items, and they have theirs.

Now a lot of times these conversations are going to be, you’re not going to talk about anything that you’re interested in. You’re going to focus on your client or your friend or your family and talk about their list, their sparks only. Now, occasionally that is going to get flipped around. Occasionally they’re either going to realize what you’re doing, not usually.

But they will find something interesting and maybe, something you said. And they’re going to flip it around on you, and they’re going to start to interview you. Now, you don’t want to be rude, you want to answer their questions, and you want to you know, give them the information that they’re asking for, but you want to also find an opportunity to flip it back around again and put the spotlight back on them and on their spark or sparks and continue to ask questions about the things that they are interested most.

[00:13:00] So anyway, that’s going to establish and help build that relationship. You want to focus a lot of time on your ability and your skillset in developing relationships with people, building upon them, making them strong and tight and connected because That’s what people are ultimately paying for.

Essentially, we’re going with the premise that people no longer pay for legal services, but they will pay for relationships with their attorneys that they work with and hire all day long. So it’s really the relationship building that you must master. You need to focus on, you need to develop that skill set.

If you have it already. You want to strengthen that. If you don’t have it, you want to maybe start reading books about it. Definitely read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Maybe take courses on this. There are plenty of courses about relationship building. It’s only going to help you develop your business, develop your ability as an attorney, and it’s going to grow your revenue and grow the revenue of the business.

So I hope this has been helpful. This is one of the strongest tools that I know when it comes to the idea of relationship building, it comes from the Dale [00:14:00] Carnegie book. Please get a hold of that and read it. and I hope that this episode has been beneficial to you.

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Thank you so much for listening or watching. However, you’ve [00:15:00] absorbed this particular podcast. Thank you so much, and I look forward to having you join us on the next episode of the classroom2courtroom podcast. Thanks so much. Take care now. Bye.